The sadness is your mother.
Nobody warned you at your grotesque birth
You had no choice
This is who you'll "love"
This is your mother
Until she's not.

You don't want your mum to die
Sometimes you just... wish she was dead
So the pain would feel more real
Less like a play-doh wall
Childishly constructed
For protection until the day you can finally
Sigh
Relieved that it's all over
There's no turning back now
Even if you wanted to cut off your right hand
And hand it to her as a peace offering.
What a relief when there are no more
Chances (choices) to repent in dust and ashes
For formulating opionions...

Mother, nobody warned you either
One day the ******, screaming, mess
You call child
Will be dead to you
And in return for all your "love"
Will wish memories of you were only that.