Jan 2023
The first time taught me what love was not
That you can’t force yourself to feel what just isn’t there
And I know it wasn’t fair
That my love for him just wasn’t there
But I tried my best to open up
I tried to write songs and poetry from the heart
But the words wouldn’t flow
Just like my love for him, it couldn’t grow
And that’s how I knew
That I could never love him
Not in the way he wanted me to
And so we parted on good terms, or so I thought
But he was broken hearted and I was not
He lashed out and I couldn’t understand
Why he felt so strongly about the mutual end
He said things, did things that he probably regrets
He probably wished that we’d never met
And perhaps he wasn’t my first love
But he was the first that I tried
The second taught me what love was
What it meant to love, to be loved and to lose it all
He was poetry in the flesh
We always seemed to be
The right people at the wrong time
And I still wish our planets would just stay aligned
He made me feel alive, he made me feel alright
He called me pure, he called me perfect
He called me a queen, a goddess, a rose
We were silly, we were young
But he showed me a love that can’t be outdone
He said I stole his heart
But he was the thief that ran away with my art
My words and all my sentences
Now contain pieces of his essence
When it was over, I wished he’d broken my heart
I know I begged the stars and every deity of love
To keep him in my life even if I couldn’t stand where I wanted to
I wished it were like a band aid I could rip off
So the sting could make me relive the rush
So I could still see the scar of what once was
But he didn’t leave me ****** and broken, just empty and absent
I knew our love was just a blip of borrowed time,
But I felt forever in the way he said he loved me
I felt lifetimes go by in the moments he was mine
A crater of a feeling that I only felt from him
Lives deep down inside me like a bottomless ocean
He will always and forever be the one with all of my devotion
I’ve loved and I've learned
The lessons are there
Like the bridges I burned
And through all the heartbreaks and bad days
It puts a smile on my face to look back
On all the pieces of my past
Of how I learned what love was not
And all that it could be
That you can’t force yourself to feel what just isn’t there
And I know it wasn’t fair
That my love for him just wasn’t there
But I tried my best to open up
I tried to write songs and poetry from the heart
But the words wouldn’t flow
Just like my love for him, it couldn’t grow
And that’s how I knew
That I could never love him
Not in the way he wanted me to
And so we parted on good terms, or so I thought
But he was broken hearted and I was not
He lashed out and I couldn’t understand
Why he felt so strongly about the mutual end
He said things, did things that he probably regrets
He probably wished that we’d never met
And perhaps he wasn’t my first love
But he was the first that I tried
The second taught me what love was
What it meant to love, to be loved and to lose it all
He was poetry in the flesh
We always seemed to be
The right people at the wrong time
And I still wish our planets would just stay aligned
He made me feel alive, he made me feel alright
He called me pure, he called me perfect
He called me a queen, a goddess, a rose
We were silly, we were young
But he showed me a love that can’t be outdone
He said I stole his heart
But he was the thief that ran away with my art
My words and all my sentences
Now contain pieces of his essence
When it was over, I wished he’d broken my heart
I know I begged the stars and every deity of love
To keep him in my life even if I couldn’t stand where I wanted to
I wished it were like a band aid I could rip off
So the sting could make me relive the rush
So I could still see the scar of what once was
But he didn’t leave me ****** and broken, just empty and absent
I knew our love was just a blip of borrowed time,
But I felt forever in the way he said he loved me
I felt lifetimes go by in the moments he was mine
A crater of a feeling that I only felt from him
Lives deep down inside me like a bottomless ocean
He will always and forever be the one with all of my devotion
I’ve loved and I've learned
The lessons are there
Like the bridges I burned
And through all the heartbreaks and bad days
It puts a smile on my face to look back
On all the pieces of my past
Of how I learned what love was not
And all that it could be
