I played a game with God.
When I look at the built-in altar in my small flat
Pictures,shapes, feelings
all sort drilled into a universe of sadness.

I fall into the pit again
I kneel,
I pray ,
I beg for atonement for my sins.

I closed my eyes for a moment of silence
I saw some hope
not from my eyes,
But from God's loving eyes.

Seconds later,
I saw my funeral with ten girls around me
laying some flowers on my unloving body
then my body is burned
ashes fall on their dull faces

I woke up from the brown coffin
a cross painted on the end of the coffin
With my migrant name.
Some cheered my death
because I deserved it all,
It's a secret I was not dead at all .
I was just hidden from them for a while.

I was laid among the uncut weeds
which shelter me from the rain,
storm,
mostly from the unkind people.