I don't just listen,
I accept it as reality.
As I swim through past oceans,
The oceans swim through me.
Why do I reminisce over a memory
That does not remember me?
Why do I long for a moment
That was fundamentally hostile?
There's always something to learn
From an undiscovered experience.
And my chest shakes and I am scared to see
What it was like to live back then;
Constantly calling to me in whatever language I speak in,
Constantly calling me to let the devil back in.
And I've grown confused as I've wandered in the grey,
As the darkness claims much of the light for itself:
Flawed memories portraying a false sense of self
Getting in my way.

So who am I
In this wretched kingdom,
where you must sacrifice your soul to live in?
Who am I amongst a people
With hedonistic intentions and self-centered ambitions
Searching for love and belonging in propagandas?
Who am I
Amongst a community broken
Within a religious doctrine
Bastardised by hypocrite preachers
Assuming hell has frozen?
Who am I
Amongst my satanic desires,
Within my willful ignorance
And sinful longing?

Perhaps I'm being too harsh,
Too hopeless.
There's a light,
An innocence within me.
Above all
A desire for pure peace and harmony,
A magnetic pull to beauty,
A child-like curiosity,
A rebellious strength against established hierarchy.
You need to prove your worthiness for my loyalty.
And God has loved me,
And has gifted me,
And has taught me
All things good.
And I have to keep a balanced view of all things
If I could.