Nov 2022
What are the symptoms of love?
Was it the lifted feeling in my heart when he said my name?
Was it the red flushed in my cheeks when he called me pretty?
Was it the butterflies in my stomach when he talked to me?
Was it the way he would smile and look off to the side,
not his picture smile, it was natural, real
Was it the way he could make me laugh, like nobody else?
Was it the bouquet of roses he bought for my birthday,
he never told me how much he paid for them…
Was it the inside jokes nobody else understood?
Was it the late texts on his computer when he didn’t have his phone?
Was it the long calls, hours, that never felt long enough?
Was it the easy days, when I painted his nails at lunch
or when I helped him with a project so he didn’t fail
Was it the soccer games I went to to watch him play?
What are the symptoms of love?
Was it the dance, or was it prom he never asked me to?
Was it the day he searched everywhere to make sure I was okay?
when he asked me on a date to make it up to me
Was it the way he couldn’t stand to see me cry?
Was it the way he couldn’t stand to see me angry?
“Are you mad at me?” It was always “are you mad at me?”
I was never mad. Disappointed, hurt, anxious, scared. But never mad.
Tell me, what are the symptoms of love?
Was it the lies he told to keep me happy?
Was it me being naive, him being immature?
Was it me asking too many questions, him never knowing the answers?
Was it the song I wrote for him that he never got to hear?
Was it the song he wrote for me, that he denied, deleted
as if it never existed, as if he never said those words
But I never forgot, I still remember, I wish he did too
Did I ever even matter?
How did he move on so quickly?
Even now, I still have questions.
Even now, he still doesn’t have the answers.
So I’ve learned to stop asking.
But really, what are the symptoms of love?
Was it the fragility at the beginning?
Was it the tension at the end?
Was it him doing everything not to hurt me,
but hurting me anyways?
Was it the fear of losing the only one we ever wanted to stay,
and losing each other anyways?
Was it the lifted feeling in my heart when he said my name?
Was it the red flushed in my cheeks when he called me pretty?
Was it the butterflies in my stomach when he talked to me?
Was it the way he would smile and look off to the side,
not his picture smile, it was natural, real
Was it the way he could make me laugh, like nobody else?
Was it the bouquet of roses he bought for my birthday,
he never told me how much he paid for them…
Was it the inside jokes nobody else understood?
Was it the late texts on his computer when he didn’t have his phone?
Was it the long calls, hours, that never felt long enough?
Was it the easy days, when I painted his nails at lunch
or when I helped him with a project so he didn’t fail
Was it the soccer games I went to to watch him play?
What are the symptoms of love?
Was it the dance, or was it prom he never asked me to?
Was it the day he searched everywhere to make sure I was okay?
when he asked me on a date to make it up to me
Was it the way he couldn’t stand to see me cry?
Was it the way he couldn’t stand to see me angry?
“Are you mad at me?” It was always “are you mad at me?”
I was never mad. Disappointed, hurt, anxious, scared. But never mad.
Tell me, what are the symptoms of love?
Was it the lies he told to keep me happy?
Was it me being naive, him being immature?
Was it me asking too many questions, him never knowing the answers?
Was it the song I wrote for him that he never got to hear?
Was it the song he wrote for me, that he denied, deleted
as if it never existed, as if he never said those words
But I never forgot, I still remember, I wish he did too
Did I ever even matter?
How did he move on so quickly?
Even now, I still have questions.
Even now, he still doesn’t have the answers.
So I’ve learned to stop asking.
But really, what are the symptoms of love?
Was it the fragility at the beginning?
Was it the tension at the end?
Was it him doing everything not to hurt me,
but hurting me anyways?
Was it the fear of losing the only one we ever wanted to stay,
and losing each other anyways?
