This is the loose thread I can't help but pull
Even as I watch the unraveling
I can't stop
Can't convince my fingers to still their fidgeting

This is my self-destructive nature
The urge to poke and poke at bruises
To endlessly stick my tongue in the bleeding chasm of a missing tooth
To pick and scratch and needle at everything that
Hurts

This hour
And the next
And the next and the next and the next
I will stare at my phone, crestfallen
Wishing against all hope for your name
Sending desperate messages into the ether
Opening old wounds that I'll never let heal
Praying for the sense to finally let you go