Its been a long year
More than a year
My pawpaw passed away from cancer
And I didn't even get to say goodbye
They wouldn't let us in to see him
Coronavirus
A glorified cold
That none of us had
Kept me from spending
His last moments holding his hand.
That same week,
A guy I had been seeing dumped me
He was kind about it
Not kindly enough
That it didn't hurt
But that's okay
I wasn't the one for him
Maybe that's what I need to be for myself
The one
Love myself a bit better
My close friend said he was in love with me
I feel like I'm being mocked
The one whom I couldn't ever be with
Is the one who says he loves me
After that
My church started falling apart
Pastors left
Arguments were started
Old mistakes
Friends were lost
And my sense of peace gone
And to top it all, I lost something so dear to me that the loss made me want to end all this just to see the face of someone whom I don't know
But someone who knows me
I'm okay
I think I am
Maybe I don't know what that means anymore
Just breathing
Waiting
For the clouds to pass
It will end
The rain will stop, and the warm spring of peace will come again
If only I can make it
If only I could hold on
Hold on just a little bit longer
Just a little bit
Longer
I will find hope
In a hopeless time