my anxiety is the reason i don't talk to you.

My anxiety tells me ; "kiyya you gonna lose her, ready yourself" i fought it off but still

My relationship with anxiety is an ongoing battle with chains I try and break daily. It is debilitating at times, but I too am ‘determined to knock her out of our house’. I don't handle conflict well, its cause i have to fight with her (my anxiety) before I could fight with you.  When everyone leaves, she is the only relationship i could count on, the longest relationship i have ever been on.

She(my anxiety) sometimes interferes with my meaningful relationships. She and I really don’t get along as well trust me, I would break up with her, but she is me and how can I abandon myself? She shuns others away. It’s safer with just me and anxiety.

But, i hate to lose you,

I don't, and i can't.

But you seem okay with it.