The numbers are once again dropping
As I crawl upward in notches on the wall
Perhaps my expectations are far too wild
To know yourself well and find healing
To not fall victim to the watering hole
To be present for longer incriments
To not force me into guilted situations
I have done nothing to ruin anything yet
My world has collapsed multiple times
As jagged bricks and other debris
While my hands held candelabras
To serve as guiding lights for the ones
I allowed to be the closest to me
How dark the world now must be for them
Since the icy chill wrestled my flame
Bringing forth a thick dark shadow
But the fire will soon return to me  
I'll be an endless light for more people
Who will feed and get full and leave
I think all that matters is the in-between
There is no true joy without knowing pain