Sep 2013
Here I sit with bile in my throat and music fading in my ears.
Once again trying to find the right words to make it better
This time I'm afraid there's no way to make it better only to explain
I'm slipping away, becoming who I left behind years ago
It's like a drug, watching the world turn into blurry chaos.
Just this morning I'd ****** up beyond belief before six am.
Passing out drunk on my front porch, waking up to my keys in hand.
Wondering how I got from across town to here and how long it'd been.
Climbed into my bed and faded away to longing thoughts of you.
I wake up to a pounding in my head and fuzzy memories of the night before
I remember taking my first shot of fire water and the burn it left in my throat.
One shot turning into a couple, my four loko getting lighter and grabbing her *** outside
Doing more shots of fire water and jack daniels, eating nachos so I could drink a little more
She went to bed and he took me outside, he kissed me against the car
My protest falling silent against his slightly sweet lips, bittersweet lips
Stumbling out back, trying to clear my head and his hand hovering to catch me if I fell
Asking if he liked getting hit by her, if he liked the way she treated him, what made her so special
His answer hot and hungry against my lips, I remember wishing you had the same passion
The guys laughing from inside the garage, laughing at us, his sigh in my ear
Dropping the doobie, looking for it and finding myself face first in the dirt laughing
Walking off trying to get away before I drank anymore, walking down the street
His voice, calling me back to the house, his hand grabbing mine and telling me I was safe
Telling him I wasn't that I wanted to go to the park, that Daddy would meet me at the park
Him saying Daddy would meet me at my house on friday but that I had to come back inside
The last thing I remember is hearing her sobbing, saying that I'm her best friend, that I was too drunk
Then I woke up on my porch, cold and holding my keys for dear life, he must have dropped them off.
All I can remember now is how much I love you, how much I want us to work, how much you care
You are my rock, my drug, my sense to this world. Without you I just mess it up.
Once again trying to find the right words to make it better
This time I'm afraid there's no way to make it better only to explain
I'm slipping away, becoming who I left behind years ago
It's like a drug, watching the world turn into blurry chaos.
Just this morning I'd ****** up beyond belief before six am.
Passing out drunk on my front porch, waking up to my keys in hand.
Wondering how I got from across town to here and how long it'd been.
Climbed into my bed and faded away to longing thoughts of you.
I wake up to a pounding in my head and fuzzy memories of the night before
I remember taking my first shot of fire water and the burn it left in my throat.
One shot turning into a couple, my four loko getting lighter and grabbing her *** outside
Doing more shots of fire water and jack daniels, eating nachos so I could drink a little more
She went to bed and he took me outside, he kissed me against the car
My protest falling silent against his slightly sweet lips, bittersweet lips
Stumbling out back, trying to clear my head and his hand hovering to catch me if I fell
Asking if he liked getting hit by her, if he liked the way she treated him, what made her so special
His answer hot and hungry against my lips, I remember wishing you had the same passion
The guys laughing from inside the garage, laughing at us, his sigh in my ear
Dropping the doobie, looking for it and finding myself face first in the dirt laughing
Walking off trying to get away before I drank anymore, walking down the street
His voice, calling me back to the house, his hand grabbing mine and telling me I was safe
Telling him I wasn't that I wanted to go to the park, that Daddy would meet me at the park
Him saying Daddy would meet me at my house on friday but that I had to come back inside
The last thing I remember is hearing her sobbing, saying that I'm her best friend, that I was too drunk
Then I woke up on my porch, cold and holding my keys for dear life, he must have dropped them off.
All I can remember now is how much I love you, how much I want us to work, how much you care
You are my rock, my drug, my sense to this world. Without you I just mess it up.
