I shouldn't be feeling this way
My life is almost perfect
I'm doing good in school
I have a wonderful boyfriend
I get rewarded when I do good
I have a family that loves me

So why am I still feeling lost
Disappointed in myself
Slipping backwards into depression
I think about the past
When I could cut without being seen
Half of me wishes that's how it could be

Right now I feel numb
Nothing to stop me
I could watch the blood pool
Watch it run down my arms
I could feel pain again
I could feel in control

Why do I feel this way again
I have no reason to be unhappy
No reason to self-harm
I have so many reasons to smile
Yet I can't bring myself to do so
I just want to break down
Go back to how I was
Just for a night
Just to watch the blood around my knife