nothing hurts like being excluded by your crush,
or walking alone down the halls in a sea of friendships.
in a world full of ups and downs it seems you've been going down for too long
towards the bottom of the ocean, which is uncharted and vast,
without time for a breath of air because there is one hurdle after another.

and sometimes it seems like you use too many metaphors.
because the world is a scary place and saying your problems out loud make them seem real.
so why should you when you can compare them to a flower and be told you're creative and special?
that's all you want,
to be special.

so you wear combat boots with your dress and you throw an anti-homecoming so you can marathon 80's movies instead,
but you aren't special and nobody cares and you can't figure out the point but you eat up the compliments like you need them to survive.
because when your mom tells you that you look skinny it's the highest praise,
and if a friend says your hair looks nice maybe he'll be around to notice too.
but he's not,
or he doesn't.

and you spend another day holding back tears because you finally got your eyeliner right but you're so **** lonely,
and you pretend it doesn't hurt that when your broken phone finally turns on there are no unread messages,
because even though there are people who care you are still alone,
always alone,
and if happiness is for people who deserve it than you must have done something once.

or maybe it's 2am and you're up crying again,
and none of your poems get past being a jumble of words and phrases,
bits and pieces blurred by the tears that stream down your cheeks,
but write them anyway, because every now and then,
if you're lucky,
they dull the pain.