this tangled thought
this presence behind everything around you
even in her

nestled into the background static of the mind
its interference is on a basic level
like the screaming ringing in your ears
perceived on all levels of consciousness
you cannot escape it
it is you

you rock ion your chair in primal effort
to release
you pace and worry your hands
smoke incessant
but it shadows your every step
as it attacks your reason
as it delivers blows to your peace

it reaches mortal combat
as you toss and turn
wrestle with the blankets of your once safe bed
motion and thought become sickness
that cannot cease of their own accord

it pervades
like the scents
of death
slow and overpowering

she is yours
and yours alone
this terrible night
and alone you will remain

you took your own life
buried at the crossroad
without comfort
without your head
banished by the good graces
and alone in the forever more

forgive me
please forgive me