I picked up my phone maybe 20 times tonight. Then forced myself to put it back down. I need to write to you. I’m craving a connection with you. But it’s a dead end. You’ve disappeared… again. I’m so ******* torn. I want to delete everything and burn it all to the ground. But I can’t. This is all I have left. This and my pain. My old friend sorrow too. I don’t remember much. From our time. I remember your smiles. I remember craving your touch and longing to be by your side. I remember ******* like animals and making love like angels. I miss you… **** I try not to. I’m still kinda ****** with you too. Most of all I’m just sad. Because I miss you. The longer this goes on the more I feel like we’ll never speak again in this life. I actually don’t think I’ll ever hear your voice again or touch you. Yeah that hurts. The sadness has become a part of me. My pain has become a part of me. When I think of you I feel sick to the bottom of my stomach. I don’t want you to come back. Please don’t. I’d ******* fall to pieces. I’m barely keeping my **** together as it is. I just want a hug.