You ring me up first thing in the morning
Just to wish me a good day ahead..
You hurry home in the evening
Just because you want to talk to me for awhile..
You won't let me hang up my phone at night
Just because you loved my company and felt like I was there..
You text me throughout the day..
Just to check if I ate on time..
You video called me every f-king day..
Just because you wanted to see my face..
Yes, you did all the right things, said all the f-king right words, gave me all the time..
Yes , all the words were correct, your actions certainly aligned..
You even uttered those magical words, you said ," I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU"
Yes, you made plans with me.. made me dream things.. made me believe that we could work it out... assured me that we could go till the end..
Yes, YOU GOT ME F_KING ATTACHED........
And then YOU DID ME *****...
Don't tell me now, that I misunderstood...
Don't tell me now, that we miscommunicated..
I never wanted you or your dreams at the first place..
I just wanted my F king peace..
But all you did was give me CHAOS at the end..
and why??? when I asked..
You had the audacity to put all the blame on me
and make me feel guilty for things I never did..
And why?? when I asked..
You had no shame to tell me that someone else is back in your life again
and you made me question my worth when I know I am enough....
And why?? when I asked..
You said, yes I love you...but, I LOVE YOU AS A PERSON
and you made it look like it was my fault to misunderstand all along......
I just TRUSTED YOUR WORDS, I just TRUSTED YOUR ACTIONS....
And where did it leave me.... in the middle of chaos..
At the moment, I can't understand my own feelings..
I don't know what I am feeling...
Am I feeling sad? Am I feeling unworthy? Am I feeling angry? Am I feeling lost? Am I feeling lonely? or Am I feeling happy? Am I feeling free? Am I feeling light? Am I feeling at peace? Am I finally feeling myself?
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F you, A