One day
I might find the words for how I feel
And as they pour out of me
There will be no way to stop the flood.
I’ve tried so hard, for so long
To hold myself together
And now I fear the damage that may have done

A little bit of rain is mostly harmless
But crashing waves can destroy everything in their wake
And I know the pain and fear I feel is violent
I don’t want to lash out and hurt anyone by mistake

I know that things are rarely ever easy
When a war rages in your brain everyday
But the guilt of struggling
When your dreams are manifesting
Is such a heavy burden when your soul is torn this way

I have always struggled with the big stuff
I feel so much, so often, it can be hard to breathe
But I’m drowning in my own ******* emotions
And I fear I’m now way too far out at sea.

I know this drifting is but temporary,
And I know I have to keep on trying to swim
Because the shore is far closer than it seems
And the tide will turn in a way that cam bring me in
But I feel my strength is fading
And the night is drawing in so fast.
I was never meant to be in this world alone
I carry too many scars upon my heart

I won’t give up today, if ever.
I owe you all at least that much.
I beg forgiveness for my self indulgent ramblings.
I beg forgiveness from myself for what I’ve done.

For now I’ll keep treading water
I’ll trust that I can bring myself back from the deep
And I’m grateful everyday that you are out there.
So that I can write this heartache and not just weep.

With love to you
From the deep.