Why is that
Every fear
That  i fear
A feeling of threat
Danger and harm
Has a funny way
Of coming true
Anticipation of unpleasant
Situations
Due to valid reason
Or a gut triggered emotion
Never escaped even one
Hunted me down every time

Lacking the guts
To face the fuss
A coward i was
Step aside because
Timid and weak
In my heart

Brought it forward
I was the same
As long as i remember
First few years didn't help either

Waves of anxiety
Top gear to my heart beating faster
Trembling of the legs
Stuttering of the mouth


Anger deep inside
Inability to express
Buckling in distress
Act of cowardice

Everything under the sun
Being hurt physically
Mind played with psychologically
Made fun of publicly
Bullied with savagery

Feared these forever
How they existed
I  am not sure
Spent my life looking for a cure

Wanted to be popular
Dug myself a grave 6 feet under
Trying to please everybody
Could see through me easily

A major school event
Had a problem with a fellow student
Boycotted the event
Realised nobody missed even my name

Bullied by the Vice Principal
Was also a table tennis coach
I too was a player
He treated me like a joker

Jokes at my expense
Was a daily occurence
School sport or neighborhood
Played by others like a fool

Feared a teacher
Hoping she not be my tutor
Murphy law at play
She made me regret everyday

Wanted to change
My so far image
Tried hard in college
Only to minimal effect


Studying in America
A childhood dream
Feared the visa interview
Greeted a lady officer as " Sir " out of pure fear

Rejected time and again
Angst never could contain
Wrong impression given
Get ready to face rejection

Feared of not having friends
Was ok on that end
Still struggling on that front
A good friend yet to gain

Fear of loneliness
Covering my heart with darkness
Almost reached there
Fear has taken aim at that

Wanted to avoid
Lead a life devoid
Of Bullying  and despair
One. Thing to be proud I'm rare

Afraid that I'd be.
Without a family
So it was to be
Alone and lonely

Wanted to be on par
With family and friends.
Whenever with them
Can feel the difference

Working in the markets
Got blamed for an error i did not falter
Took a year to.
Come out in the clear

The divorce proceedings
In an ugly hearing
Esteem all time low
Can't go further below

Why did i fear
What was the trigger
The mess between my ears
Took   decades to recover

This is a recall
Of events in the past
Following Bruce Lee and his philosophy
Given me the courage to face fear face to face