cause I don’t wanna get better
get better and what?
throw away all my hard work?
i knew what I was doing when I picked up that bottle,
and I’m scared to put it back down.
scared the memories will come flooding back,
scared it’ll hurt all over again.
maybe I’m not meant to get better.
when they ask me where I see myself in 10 years I laugh,
laugh through the finality of my suicidality.
my world is on fire and I have no desire to put it out.
I’m stuck in this ****** brain.