Apr 2022
When I have no mirror
And my thoughts run free
I am suddenly a monster
and no longer me
When I'm surrounded by a crowd
My bones splinter out
My elbows bend backwards
And my voice is a shout
Though I know it's not true
I know I'm no beast
Voices race through my head
And greedily they feast
I'll bend over forwards
To cave into my chest
To make myself smaller
So maybe they'll rest
And when I'm finally home
No that cant be
In the mirror I look
Unable to see
Who is that kid
Whose eyes I see
How pretty he is
But that's not me
And my thoughts run free
I am suddenly a monster
and no longer me
When I'm surrounded by a crowd
My bones splinter out
My elbows bend backwards
And my voice is a shout
Though I know it's not true
I know I'm no beast
Voices race through my head
And greedily they feast
I'll bend over forwards
To cave into my chest
To make myself smaller
So maybe they'll rest
And when I'm finally home
No that cant be
In the mirror I look
Unable to see
Who is that kid
Whose eyes I see
How pretty he is
But that's not me
Basically my body dysmorphia is really bad and even though I know realistically what I look like, my brain still tells me that my elbows are too knobby and my arms are too skinny. When I sit at my desk I feel like my knees stick out funny and my back arches too much. Funnily enough, because I always think I'm slouching even when I'm not, I subconsciously always straighten my back so my posture is really good
