I long to be happy again
About time mouth found a smile
Used to have joy
Where did it go?
Have not seen it around for awhile
I write my problems
Have faded to grey
Everything surrounding darker now
Universe in disarray
True creation from sadness
See beauty all around
Dive forward
Can't touch it
Faceplant into the ground
I cry
Love slips out of reach
Won't you come back home?
Happy ending crumbles to dust
Where I aimlessly roam
I want to travel someplace unscathed
The past behind my thoughts
Bottle up
Throw out to sea
All the 'could-haves' and 'did-nots'
Maybe the world would look vibrant once more
These holes in my heart would be filled
Sparkles might return to my eyes
Sorrows would fall off a cliff and be killed
I'm certain that will never happen
Wounds only get deeper
Weight I carry is too heavy
The hill I'm climbing grows steeper
I fear death will be only chance
To discover peace desperately craved
And pure tranquility
Wonder what else waits beyond the grave
I do not pray for divine intervention
There is nobody in control up above
Each are our own higher power
Feel our faith bound to love
So sigh and try to be patient
I am pretending to do well
A state of permanent limbo
Nobody can tell
Can keep up this act forever
Takes great effort to maintain
Composing careful facade
Slowly driving me insane
I know contentment possible to get
Need to figure out how
Came so easily before
Why can't I achieve bliss now?