i write violent
for a pacifist
and talk harder
hope if i die
****** or suicide
they hold me up
as a martyr
at least my death
would've meant something
i would never do nothing
save for self defense
unless it's to save another
take the bullet for a stranger
i like new experiences
never a hole in the head before
but i've my share of dents
is my head up my ***
am i making sense

take it all back
if i could
do it different
yes i would
cause i can't i seem
to get you out of my mind
think it'd have been better
if you were never there
rewind time
wormhole away
to past days
i'll never love the same now
to you
that's okay
it ain't your fault
things turned out this way

say what you say
i won't be there to listen
you're never there for me
your care is a figment
of disturbed imaginations
come back any day
if you changed
but you don't give a **** to
there's not a thing wrong with you
and turn it around
on some other ****
eight years with you
and of the few times we make plans
you flake
but it's my mistake
toxic, because i'm angry it didn't go my way
small minded thoughts
i'm mad because you don't respect me
say how i feel
but act like you never even asked
if you do
reaching out, my task
like texting back
one missed and
communication is snapped

you don't have to know
what you want
don't worry about it
but we can't be friends
because you don't treat me
like a friend
and boundaries
you haven't heard of them
fin, fin, fin?
one day to begin again?

lol, probably be dead before then