5 years ago today
I let myself go
Unraveled her
To cling onto you
Heart beats like butterfly wings
Fluttering through the night
Simply from a confession
That quenched my internal starvation
I couldn’t believe I could finally feast
Couldn’t believe my eyes

Branded that validation
Hot wired my heart strings to your rhythm
To that one word
That forever remains
Even though you changed

Now I’ve changed
And you’ve stayed the same
Nothing but indecisiveness running in your brain
Nothing but words that stained a clear frame
Tainted and tarnished but art all the same
Of an almost was because you messed it all up

I knew i wasn’t enough for years
But you never diminished those fears
You reinforced them time and time again
I could fall at your knees
And you’d look past me
Simply because she was there
You just didn’t care

I watch you now fall apart
Because she’s wrapped in diamonds
All you have is string
How does that sting?
You lost the one you’d risk it all for
I watched you walk out the door
Begging to give you even more

Reminiscent on a night that’s a tattooed date
Although our fate didn’t align
I regret that wasted time
On an almost was
Not even a what used to be

A different headspace of validation
That ended in confusion and frustration
Because you couldn’t commit
I’ve closed up my walls with superglue
Im scared to encounter another you
So I quarantine

I wish her well
Down the well she falls
Hits the emptiness of stone
She’s all alone

She’ll find a way out
Screams and shouts aren’t loud
Her silence speaks volumes
Self conversation that leads her to a ladder
To save herself from her demons of worthlessness

I’ve seen her,
That’s me.