A Key, an Envelope, and a Mouse

I had just gone to the mail box, to pick up the mail
riding in my golf cart, with my mouse by my side

the key was in my left hand, when I tried dodging a snail
I tipped to the left, then to the right, everything I tried

the key flew away, I grabbed my mouse by the tail
but it was no use, watched a pole and my cart collide

the envelope squirted the other way, reaching to no avail
I bounced out the other side, and landed right on my pride

I was lying flat on my back , with my arms I did flail
I hurt my neck, no my arm, no, I think I might have died

maybe I had to much to drink, just one too many ale
maybe it was actually more, my brain was pretty fried

people were now starting to gather, wondered if I needed bail
they were gasping, and yelling, help him up somebody cried

the mouse was licking my face, I heard someone mention jail
could not get my *** to budge, no matter how hard I tried

the envelope was stuck to my head, so was a roofing nail
think I must have wet myself, an idiot, this can't be denied

the key was found up my ****, when removed I started to wail
holy mama mia I yelled, it was stuck and had to be pryed

tipped my cart back on its wheels, the engine sang a funny scale
you sure that you're ok, I'm just fine, you know I lied

grabbed my key, my envelope and mouse, and outa there I hi-tail
pretended nothing had happend, and continued on my ride    

Gomer LePoet...