I'm writing out a bill for the last 25 years of therapy.
Your IOU fell through
And I pretended I didn't keep track.
I abandoned my post and thought
"Thatll do it."
If I put a province between us
We could start over and make up
Our own separate stories about
My childhood.

We could forget about the late nights of talking you off the ledge of all those buildings you built yourself.
Each one closer to the clouds.
You would look at me, tears in your eyes, saying things like
"I love you" and
"Goodbye" in the same sentence.
And I didn't understand how those words could be so close together,
Doesn't one negate the other?
If you leave, was there ever any love?

I'd watch you love these other women who would never be my mother,
And they would eat up every night with hours of phone conversations behind your closed bedroom door.
You'd come to me in love,
Proposals being imagined in your head,
All this beauty after so many painful days of you breaking your heart over and over.

Within weeks you'd be back with me, and we would book another appointment.
I'd sit across from you,
Digesting every word
Making notes for my future loves
So I would know what to do.

Love and leave.
Love and leave.