I went for a walk yesterday,
for some reason I ended up at our spot.
I spent some time on the same bench we used to share our secrets, kiss, fight, listen to songs, sit silently.
I couldn't think of anything but our last date,
I remember everything we talked about that day,
what color clothes you were wearing,
how your hair looked, your smile,
The way you were looking at me,
the way we kissed,
the way you complimented me uncountable times,
the way we hugged,
the way we held hands, my cold hands warming up inside your cold hands until they sweat,
the way you told me you about your feelings towards me.
Something was missing that day though.
I didn't feel anything when we kissed. I kissed with my eyes open.
Was it love, that was missing ?
But I thought to myself, i loved him, how could love be missing then ?
But love was indeed missing, it couldn't be seen, i looked for it.
Trust me I did.
He did love someone but that someone wasn't me.
How is it possible that something so perfect to me was just a lie for him ?
I'm hurt, I'm bitter about us and i blame you.
I'm never going to trust anybody easily, I'm going to have shared time loving a new person and i blame you.
I blame you for the way you made me.
And i blame myself for letting you do that.