This is the night that the lights went out on me.
The fatal sight mine eyes
Could never unsee.
Giver of life ,
Most trusted confidant,
My Queen......
My love my truest friend,
I will spend a life time
Still never comprehend ,
Why this had to be..........
lost in contemplation
Of
Inevitable aftermath  
In preparation trying to brace myself against
imminent impact.
Taunting me I sat ,
And sunk hauntingly into
A maelstrom of fears and trepidation. .........
Without her who will I be?
Awakened from dissolution by a refreshing icy cold slap in the face.    
My mind's eye dipped into an acid bath ......
Emerged bereft of selfish filters ........and brought clarity that is not my time ,but Hers .....and it is but a vapour now ,
Precious and fleeting with a quickness .........
I pushed all negative thoughts to the horizon of my mind ....
So I could take events in stride
Although in doin so
I knew ,and did my best
To hide .....
This the beginning of the end of me
From this I cannot mend
The epitomy of melancholy
I was chosen as her ring man and accepted gratefully.
Managed her corner to the best of my ability...
The best moments of my life and shall forever be..
Yet I'm still haunted ......
And the sharply narrowing of the fields of what we wanted.........
Ever loomed ....vamping my energy.
Undaunted,
her opponent advanced
Relentlessly......
My chest heaves hands tied .....
Broken..
I fall to my knees
Severed forever my last tether
To humanity.
Most elegant warrior I have ever seen.
Knowing me
Could console me!
Sophisticated and obnoxious
Said her hair wasnt red ....
It was strawberry blonde
A little piece of insight.  
Known to nary run from a fight ......
Broke me fatters jaw ...
And me uncles too ..
On their wedding night...
None the less.......
And with such mischievous elegance
With the heart of a leprechaun
Hard not to say
She was simply complicated. .............
I marvel in the way
Her beauty still hasn't
Faded from me
epicenter of happiness and all that was good in me ....
She was my everything
Same hood,
Same team,
Understood ..... Completed me
The only one who truly loved me .
The lost champion ,
My lost companion ,
Savagely beaten to death
While I could only stand by and watch helplessly.
And in disbelief
Stroked her hair ,.....
Held her gently
And  the world lost all of  its humor, charm  and meaning.
As she breathed out and left me...with just  her body...in my arms
On new years eve.
And the silence is still maddening from the
No reply
As ...I  ...am faced with this insanity
As we became I put both her hands on my face
Cried quietly Mamma
Please don't leave me..
Rest in peace Mom I love you....
Her opponent?
Non small cell squamous
Lung cancer.