Maybe my mistake Wasn't keeping everything inside Maybe it wasn't sleeping all day or drinking by night Maybe it wasn't caused by the blade or the puking or the 85 pills
I think it was the "I love yous" that became said (and heard) too often Simply because people were told that they needed to make up for the first 16 years I think it was the heart-to-hearts often taking place at 2am And being taught to have faith in others I think it was the hugs that were the worst since they were given so that they would no longer feel foreign as they once had
For I am not supposed to be as fragile as I was reshaped to be I am not supposed to be filled with false hope or urgent voices saying "it gets better" Pain isn't always temporary Although joy often is Maybe if I had been enlightened with these truths instead of taught ignorance through those lies Then things would be different