fill up my heart til it’s beating hard enough for me to feel alive abuse
feed the mermaid in my kneecaps with glitter liquid abuse
any kind abuse
to make me forget abuse
just want to use abuse
to make me forget the pain when he lays hands on me lays his own abuse on me
someone once told me, substance abusers are weak face your problems head on why do you need to see stars before you wake up why is coke your coffee why is whiskey your orange juice why is **** your pancakes
and I say if I am weak then how come I can cling onto the clouds
perhaps, if I could live to be 1000 years old I will have clinged to the clouds long enough for them to get sick of me
but for now, those clouds are my demons and I’ve never loved the color red so much