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Jan 2022
i mourn because i haven't completely savored this agony when it's hot
this pain of losing you, and being all alone in a fear you never had, most of all
it's outdated, but i remember it's january and you left me when the year was still fresh with hope
i knew nothing, and i am not over it, i am not over my youth, i am not over my rage
i have nice things now, they're made of gold and diamonds, pride and money
i have better things to say and write, and i am moving forward in life

i took a knife out from my pocket when you gave this agony
i cut it thinly, i put it in my mouth every day.
while losing you never was in my plan, i learn to say goodbye to things that ****
i digest this slowly, you in my mind, hoping you'll be back telling me you're sorry
i live with this bitterness that stays, i figure i will never run out of this
it says: i would never really lose you, that's never in my plan

i am moving forward in life, and I have you still
like the way I see you in my dreams now, you're more like myself than you've ever been
someday i'll forgive you for stealing from me,
i'll forgive you for deceiving me,
i'll forgive you for breaking my heart
but now, i'd rather take it all up, feel it,
and let it consume me like it's supposed to, long ago
Written by
der kuss
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