I am not gifted
I am a gift
to you
I am your child
And I always knew it was your job
To keep me healthy
Maybe that's why
I cried so much
and cry so much
to this day
I did not ask to be born
I did not ask to be perfect
But you asked that of me
How the **** can a Mother
Joke of locking their child in a closet
To starve them for their weight

Gifted child
Gifted child
I wish you saw me as a gift
Instead of gifted
Instead of expecting the most
While creating the least
Out of me

I thought my first heartbreak
Would be from a friend
Perhaps a partner
But I soon realized
It was a process
That had already started
There was no specific day I realized
That I couldn't feel your love
And only now
At 21 do I realize
How badly I wanted to my whole life

You gave birth to someone with many weaknesses
Similar to the ones within yourself
But you can't stand seeing them
In anyone

I don't know if I've forgiven you
But I don't think I hate you
I just wish that the seed we planted
Grew

I was young, incapable
I didn't know how to take care of it
But neither did you
And by the time we found out

The seed was rotten.