I'd never thought that I'd live freely with your absence.
Yet you leaving was the piece of the puzzle that was missing.
I'd been staring at a screen
my mind was mangled by the continuous circle that flowed before it was ****** into the abyss of a black hole.
And I'd been tricked into thinking that with you I was living.
But now without you, I'm breathing.

If you asked me a year ago who I depended on most I'd say your name.
I didn't have to register the question because as soon as "dependent" left your lips I knew the answer.
My name wouldn't have been considered.

With you,
Fear constantly crept on my body and tickled my spine as it breathed down my neck because making you upset was the ultimate sin in my book.
All I'd known was loving the image of you from the first day we met.
All the ****** up things you said to me after were erased because you reminded me what it was like to be called beautiful by someone other than my mother.  

The ache you caused me didn't hurt as much as I'd been expecting it to.
I haven't missed you in weeks and only think of you in my prayers.
I pray that you've changed so the new girl doesn't have to learn as many lessons as I did from my experience with you.

I'm no longer afraid of your ******* facade.
I can identify an ignorant coward from 342 miles away.

Yet some tears were worth shedding when the droplets were swept away by a gracious hand.
My fingertips caressed my cheek.
And I remembered what it was like to be called beautiful and strong by someone other than my mother.