we both stay empty and desolate

you live in the darkness of everyday chores

living a thankless life, the only remark getting is how time inefficient you are

only if i could tell you that your son is not far

away from that dark pit in which you prolly have been for decades now

dear mom,

at least you can still complain about how we don't see you work hard all day

and just scream mindlessly when the food

you made lacked some salt, or wasn't that good

and only difference with your son being

that he cries on a notepad, feeling the shame to shed those tears in real life as he learnt every man should

dear mom,

my tear glands have grown bankrupt, have i gone too numb?

but then a part of me always burns whenever you think i don't care, about you and dad, for you think, i think you are too dumb

but i tried to start a conversation on the dinner table last night

until it became a fight yet again, but its okay for this pain isn't new

i guess its because my notepad doesn't speak much, that's why it knows how much i crave even so much as a touch

from someone, let alone a hug, that'd be too much

dear mom,

maybe you were true all along

maybe its me in the wrong

else why do i have my notepad and cat

and no-one else

karma is a true ***** indeed then it seems

dear mom,

you know its fun when you can tell that a dream isnt real

even when you are dreaming

for the only the only chats i've been having lately is when my eyes are shut

but i cant tell you that for i lack the guts to say or to anyone else around me for that matter

that hey i think i am feeling a bit gay lately although i am straight still

does that make me tilt

towards being partly bi?

but yeah, i'd prolly die than say that loud

and i really don't know how this wall between us came about

and i don't know if this divide will ever break

or will it be my soul corroding away bit by bit

but don't you worry mama, imma love you still as i did when i was five

and tell dad i admire how much he does for us for i cant ever say him even that much

i'm sorry for everything.....