i'll never let you see
what you've done to me
i'll never let you know
where i'm planning to go
except after i'm gone
you'll all be too late.
to say if i could just have wait.
wait for what?
for me to slice another cut?
then you run, tp say what i have done
for you to feel like you have won.
won the battle between me and my life
with you not even involved
but there i go again
slaying against my wrist is the knife
and sitting there
as i tear
tear off the plastic
uncap the lid
discover whats been hid
a capsule of blue
multiple and brand new
taste the bottle on my lips
not even the razor's nips
could substitute what i will soon endure
a pain free path for sure
but the only way to get there?
step in the puddle of blood
there's no lack of it, it's a flood
a flood of my own
nothing i have ever shown
as the ultimate sacrifice, i just want to say,
maybe there would have been one day
when someone would have finally said
"the things inside your head
are driving insane
and its leading you to a world of pain.
take my hand, and follow my lead
someplace to where you will not need
the use or crave for blades & pills
because my love & caring will end your desire to ****."
but that is all a tale
it is all in my head
that someone will have said
"i will save you."
and now its too late
because i will reach for the razors as my evening date
and later lose my innocence deep into the dark as it is late
my innocence taken by the one and only
multiple swallowed capsules
as i say one last time, "if i wasn't so lonely"
then everyone wouldn't say, 'why?"
and i didnt have to write, "goodbye."