sturdy insecurity
an oxymoron
juxtaposition not akin
to the feelings I feel in my          
chest
solidified, black lead
when driven deep into the sunken fronts
of lust vs a crush
which is neither nor nothing
                                                         ­  i suppose

and how i hate feeling victim to
my own insidious head
holding firmly the affirmations
turning over and over
since i've known her
stating plainly that i am entirely
                                                        ­         wholly
                                                          ­                           completely
                                                      ­    and utterly
                                  nothing

to the people around me.