Oct 2021
the last time I cried this much
is when the last boy from a few years ago
came back to me starry-eyed and rosy-cheeked
professing how he felt like a rockstar: and I realized in my heart he couldn't be for me, so I had to end it, but before that
I cried in my stained floor, broken floor, all mine,
alone for the love that never could be because I was too fed up
and he couldn't be only mine. I've prayed to leave this life,
to have my life with his bony knees and his brown eyes,
not the life I've known before: the life in his thin arms and his beard I could live in, maybe, is it full of secrets, those hairs?
the way his eyelashes come down: and it pains me to think this.
don't you ask me if you are bad for me because my man you are not, nowhere near it: all these issues stem from me, please understand:
I am trying, don't misunderstand the yearn and the pain that comes from the screams in my dreams: my throat needs to speak and when I am like this its just her coming out, the little girl,
you said we'd do it, we'd do it:
my toes curl onto the glass edge: planar and around the room, it spins a never-ending scape, today I needed to sleep but I couldn't care less about the impact of this on my flow: but my health must sustain and it must be okay.
in the sky something silvery drops behind the walls and painting prepositiosn that litter my writing still: I even tried learning your language, why, why, whereabouts, why, why, whereabouts, why, why, whereabouts, where are your hands? I asked if you could be a good man and if you could treat me right. I asked you to not hurt me in those ways, you know what ways, you know you said okay, to those ways to the whys. mia, mia, eres mia, mia mia, eres mia. eres mia. mia, mia. eres mia. mia, eres. eres mia. mia. mia. mia. por que? eres mia, mia. mia, mia. eres mia. mia, eres. mia. mia. mia. mia. mia. eres mia. my eyes glance at that blue bulb watching for a white wall to appear: mia, mia, eres mia. mia. mia. eres mia, mia, eres, mia, mia, eres. sleepy eyed. I care: yes, I care. I cared so much I'm that child behind, I'm that woman that's behind: ring or not, legality or not, don't leave me behind. my rips holl backwards and forwards, the ancients they scared me and my eyes are heavy. eres mia. mia, mia, mia.
is when the last boy from a few years ago
came back to me starry-eyed and rosy-cheeked
professing how he felt like a rockstar: and I realized in my heart he couldn't be for me, so I had to end it, but before that
I cried in my stained floor, broken floor, all mine,
alone for the love that never could be because I was too fed up
and he couldn't be only mine. I've prayed to leave this life,
to have my life with his bony knees and his brown eyes,
not the life I've known before: the life in his thin arms and his beard I could live in, maybe, is it full of secrets, those hairs?
the way his eyelashes come down: and it pains me to think this.
don't you ask me if you are bad for me because my man you are not, nowhere near it: all these issues stem from me, please understand:
I am trying, don't misunderstand the yearn and the pain that comes from the screams in my dreams: my throat needs to speak and when I am like this its just her coming out, the little girl,
you said we'd do it, we'd do it:
my toes curl onto the glass edge: planar and around the room, it spins a never-ending scape, today I needed to sleep but I couldn't care less about the impact of this on my flow: but my health must sustain and it must be okay.
in the sky something silvery drops behind the walls and painting prepositiosn that litter my writing still: I even tried learning your language, why, why, whereabouts, why, why, whereabouts, why, why, whereabouts, where are your hands? I asked if you could be a good man and if you could treat me right. I asked you to not hurt me in those ways, you know what ways, you know you said okay, to those ways to the whys. mia, mia, eres mia, mia mia, eres mia. eres mia. mia, mia. eres mia. mia, eres. eres mia. mia. mia. mia. por que? eres mia, mia. mia, mia. eres mia. mia, eres. mia. mia. mia. mia. mia. eres mia. my eyes glance at that blue bulb watching for a white wall to appear: mia, mia, eres mia. mia. mia. eres mia, mia, eres, mia, mia, eres. sleepy eyed. I care: yes, I care. I cared so much I'm that child behind, I'm that woman that's behind: ring or not, legality or not, don't leave me behind. my rips holl backwards and forwards, the ancients they scared me and my eyes are heavy. eres mia. mia, mia, mia.
