You don't deserve my 4am thoughts.
But here you are.
a pretzel wrapped around my brain
******* for making me feel more worthless than I already felt.
But I can’t help that this is who I am.
A shell of laughter and fake beauty.
Sensitivity and insecurities below the surface
And the ugly darkness hidden deep, buried away.
Staring at patterns in the ceiling paint, thinking of you, triggering three layers at once.
Just like all the others. All you had to do was get to know me . It was just enough to pull me in and send you running.
They all run. As they should.
I wish I could run from myself.