i have some eternal longing.
questions for nature
thankful for the hydra that is
a question.
there has to be no answer.
anguished traversal,
i am weary for this
  there is no release
   no relief.
    no ends to this mean.
besides the
     beyond and this line in between
  i question why i live
    yet the answer lives in death


~~ am i really a monster?
these arms sewn by sewer stunk sinue
  soaked by one's false sense of savant
these eyes flit to blue and brown,
from  
 pointed to round,
  ears stiffened yet drowned
  who hears strangers say hes the
   talk of the town
    all of it tends to incredulous noun .
   a seed of some doubt,
   covered in honey,
   placed as my heart.
   i only wish that i and it, drift apart
   because when i rest
   i try to take my legs off;
   one at a time, i hope it hurts
   rip off my face;
   as thin as it may be
   snap myself out of my craze;
   you know you cant dream
   lift the ball-chain of my soul;
   and place it on your chest
   and die to live some other day:
because you cant love to my own behest

i dont know if its good to try to do better; or only one's best