I’m not like the Ripper or a notorious name
A celebrity killer looking for fame
I could be living alone in the house next door
In a suburb next to a family of four
There’s nothing really dark about me
Just a few skeletons behind the settee
One night I had a few friends around
By morning they just could not be found
A couple of them were acting like fools
Messing around with garden tools
Things just went too far last night
A few arguments and then a little fight
Air rifle pellet went right through one eye
Picked up a ***** and swatted a fly
They had ****** on the carpet and foul sofa stains
Bits of ***** on the wall with blown out brains
Glassed in the face and the mirror smashed
All the guests have gone and the party’s crashed
I arranged their limbs in little squares
In the cupboard just under the stairs
Just take a look at this Motley Crew
All ******* useless with nothing to do
They came for a laugh and left in stitches
No more fun for these sons of *******
I won’t bore you with the details of my deeds
How their hacked off fingers were planted with weeds
Shaved their heads with a sickle and axe
Disposed like waste in carbon sacks
So remember this if friends are fake
They never give back but always take
Don’t waste more time or ask them why
Lets them go, let them die