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Oct 2021
Behind my smile lie my fears

Behind those laughs I hide my tears

I'm one of those you call fake

And the more I go the more I ache

I have a dark secret I cannot tell

Sometimes it feels like a wizard's spell

I've been told it's not my fault

How could I know it was assault?

How would you expect that from your father?

But dear laiba why wouldn't you know?

He ***** your mum infront of you remember

He showed you videos. 

You **** remember that clearly 

You did what he said.

I still see him everywhere

Why is that? It's so unfair

He took away my innocence

He forced me into silence

Told me I deserved to die 

Said children like me need pain.

Said I was ugly and reordered every minute of me crying about it.

They say I should forgive

But he's made my life hard to live

I see him in my dreams

I hope he can hear my screams

I hope he can hear my innocence telling him I love him and "daddy can we draw after"

"Daddy your my superhero"

It isn't fair that he's free

He ruined my life the day he molested me

I try to move forward

But it's as if I'm anchored

Held back by this voice saying I don't deserve to live.

Let me go I say let me go

But the voice repeats back I dare you to try.

It's his voice..

I'm trying real hard

But still I'm so scarred

I try to hide my pain

Even though it drives me insane

I try my best but how much can I take 

Until it destroys me

To anyone reading this please save me from me.

To you I may seem happy

But deep inside I'm really angry

Because behind my smile lie my fears

Because behind those laughs I hide my tears

I'm the one you call fake

Some days I just wish people knew how much I ache.

How tired I am 

And how much my mind puts me through
Written by
Laiba  17/F/England east London
(17/F/England east London)   
     The Iron Reaver and Khaab
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