I’m writing again (even though my thoughts as of late are convoluted)
When life seems bad I must admit I often bluff - what I need is almost in reach, still, I can’t seem to commit to pursuit -
Without some sort of proof my self-abuse has yet to absolutely ruin me - I’m annoyed by me and the way I keep trying to **** the time I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy
Self-sabotage & procrastination have taken a toll that weighs heavily on my family, heart, soul and my mindset’s always secretly tragic -
love ones I have left lately all say I owe them now, like they can tell I’m on a spiral down with no faith I can change only hopes they’ll collect before I meet my casket
I can’t even bring myself to ask that they bare with me, please -
I know it seems at times I’m not even trying, I assure you that’s a misunderstanding
I keep hemorrhaging money same story as last month maybe find some peace in few more weeks (I fear my optimism’s been misplaced and goals I’ve set are too demanding)