"I wish you didn't exist," he texted.
Even though I was unable to see his face
unable to see his eyebrows smushed together
to hear the frost in his voice
I knew he meant it.
He always meant these sorts of things

"Stupid."
"Annoying."
"*****."
"*****."

I've tried for almost as long as I can remember
to let those words bounce off of me
to walk through the fire
and still come out unscathed
but after awhile "*****"
starts to sound like "Babe"
and "I hate you"
sounds similar to
"I love you"

I've agreed with every word
that's ever came out of his mouth
memorized it,
written it down,
taken it to heart
so he wouldn't tower over me
belittle me
so he would stop just long enough-
so I could catch my breath

So when he said, "I wish you didn't exist"
I responded with,
"What do you think my headstone should say?"