That stuff called alcohol,
Wow what a mess,
The healer of tension,
The reliever of stress.

Clouding the brain,
Intoxicate the senses,
Together they're deadly
As they both drop their defences.

Bottles on the bedside,
Cans on the floor,
Stella Artois is watching
In a bin by the door.

Have a shot of Russian water,
And see where you end up,
Either stumbling on the streets,
Or topping up another cup.

The controller of minds,
The master of confusion,
The leader of disaster,
The commander of delusion.

Oh sweet, sweet alcohol,
You cure me when I'm not sober,
But one more swig from a bottle of Jack,
And it's **game over.