It’s the anniversary of her death
I am reminded of it every year
Not so much by the calendar
But by my internal clock of pain
You remember the place
You remember the time
Her look of final peace
Our mother
Our monster
We lived our lives in hell
For all of her drunken antics
We were the ones to feel the pain
She drank
…We suffered
As children we never understood her demons
Did she love us?
Why did she hurt us?
What did we do to make her act this way?
We were innocent
Frightened young souls
Doomed to grow up
Broken…
Shattered…
Pieces scattered throughout our lives
Never knowing how to be whole.
You would have been a hundred this year if you had lived
We have grown to forgive you
Finally finding our place in this world
On our own…
We made it to the other side
So
Farewell Isabelle
You did the best you could

Patty LeDuc
February 4, 2019
Scattered Thoughts 2019
(In memory of Isabelle Krumm)