Every night I flee
I flee the place most would call home
For to me the place is just a house

Every night I escape
I escape into my mind
While music follows close behind

Every night I drown
I drown in every feeling I've ever felt
In the feeling of unconsensual hands
Brought on by the memories in my mind

Every night I go outside
Into the dark as it holds me tight
Closer and safer then any person
Has ever felt

I can be me
I can be free
But thats honestly
Scary

I think of all the times I said no
And the times I couldnt speak

I think of all the times no ones listened to me
But then they treat me like I never said a thing
And I become a problem

I scream in my mind
Feeling left behind

I claw at desperate feelings
Of the smallest sliver of happy

I crave the warmth and safety
That I felt in your arms
The arms that are no longer mine
But still hold me close from time to time

I fade from reality as I wish to escape to a place
With no more pain

But I dont want to die
For I fear to be alone

I dont want to die knowing I always had to be on my own
Except for those short 2 years
With you.