How did I let it go this far again?
Knowing it could never last.
I was born for only solitude.
This lesson learned in past.

You made me feel more beautiful
Than I ever had before,
But somehow it still wasn't enough
To open my locked door.

The kisses have grown colder,
And I have backed away.
Not fully sure if fear or indifference,
Has made me feel this way.

Selfishly I just continued on,
It's as unforgivable as a lie.
Partly not wanting to be alone,
Partly because I hate "goodbye."

How will I be able to tell you,
I don't love you the way I should.
After I have spoken the words.
Right now I just wish I could.

I hope your pain is less by far,
Than mine; I'll suffer by shame.
I'd rather be hurt than hurt another,
Slander me, I'll take the blame.

I won't ask you for your pardon,
Or for you to understand.
That I am meant to wander alone,
With no one to hold my hand.

I will never be able to sacrifice,
My defenses,  just on a whim.
And since there are no certainties,
My chance for love is looking grim.