I have seen the effects of my choices,
And it all just hurts my brain;
What once were friendly voices
Have grown silent in disdain.

For each flashback I must give an account
So I search for excuses in vain;
To what can this torture amount to
Besides an early grave?

I have seen the evil I have wrought,
So I took myself out of sight;
What once was, is now sought
But I'm too worn-out to fight.

My dreams are full of warnings,
And I shiver at the sight of visions;
I struggle every morning
To try to find a mission.

Yet I trust in God, though I cannot serve him
Because through all the pain I'm just a burden.
I can't rejoice, and though I feel I have no hope
I know it will get better as I learn to cope.