At GMT zero zero Twenty God-knows-when
the Lemmings' News announced they have all the facts
there sits Chief Broadcaster, Ms Lemmings Red
the renowned purveyor of loony news
the wonkier, the more far-fetched the better
the red light is on, we are live on Air
and so they roll
the messages and news for lemmings by lemmings

Now some one pray do tell me in earnest fare
cause for a pretty second I truly did ponder their ongoing scope
but finding it quite meaningless ignored henceforth
for what merry business is it to me
the love life or romantic dalliances of a stranger
what interest me if six seven or ten swing with Eros
or petals meet petals in gardens or roof tops
for certain I know this got nowt to do with me

Tell no lies the lemmings do what lemmings do
and Chief Broadcaster Ms Lemmings Red and their station
with no ethics, ethos or integrity follow their lemmings agenda
for fellow lemmings dare not think or challenge the zany news
the world is burning, a pandemic is raving and partying
schools shutting creating a better class of half-wits for morrows
yet lemmings expect me to be concerned about the love life of who
if strangers risk their health hopping and what's not
isn't that their business, what's it to do with me