Count backwards it doesn't work with madness.
Beg the mental meds to work in the dark of night.
Holding out a pocket knife when everyone is sleeping to debate whether to **** yourself or not.
Writing emotional letters to your best friend to make sure they won't break your heart.
Crying at youth group where people are watching you meltdown like butter on a frying pan.
Never knowing how deep the sorrow is in the hole in your chest because religion won't fill it up or get rid of the grief.