I stayed up until the sun rose. Now I don't know whether I want to sleep or stay awake. I have a road trip ahead of me. So now I have to act happy in a car ride with my mother. Great(sarcasm)! I will just read on the way there so I don't have to speak to her.
Avoiding my mother plan complete. Good thing my little sister will be there. Sometimes I want to tell my mom the list of things she hide from her friends in conversations. Including my mental illnesses. She would probably put me on a prayer chain without hesitation. Because according to her, avoiding things being said out loud is a way to face problems. Yeah great way to teach your kids(not really). I don't understand how she can hide behind that mask when some days I can see right through it and see the monster she really is. Because I know that I am not the monster of the family. My older siblings refuse to bring up our deep seated family issues that are generational. I don't get how they wear their masks. I can peel them all off with a single truth. My family keep secrets from people when we could just tell them our problems but no hiding is safer. I refuse to hide my problems and the generational issues.