How do you know?

You just know

Never believed that bullsh*t fed to children and sewn into every fairytale
The fireworks are checklists and those butterflies are empty stomachs
I cackled at the foolishness of those who did not see the falsity of the world

It’ll come out of nowhere

Well. You sure as hell did.
What they never told me is that just knowing is every fibre of your being suddenly feeling lit up simply by the thought of their touch. It’s sitting on a terribly awful bed and feeling shocked at the sheer depths at which you loved him as he simply existed. It’s watching him take in a new movie and know that you only want to watch movies to see him watch them with you.
That glimpsing the details in their eyes are worth all the pain in the world

His smile
His chuckle
His eyes

Knowing him was knowing he knew me better than myself, and I was okay with learning me through his eyes for the rest of my life.